Think about the following questions:

• What does it take to do your job?
• Where do you need to start?
• How do you sustain and keep doing your work, especially when faced with challenges?

Your response to these questions are grounded in the relationships and partnerships that you and families build together.

“Children are at the heart of meaningful family engagement. They are the reason that you and families develop positive, respectful relationships with one another that will support children’s healthy growth and learning.

Trusting and mutually respectful relationships can improve wellness for both families and staff by reducing the isolation and stress that some families and staff members may experience.” ^[2] — Joshua Sparrow, 2011

Strengths-based Attitudes

Use strengths-based attitudes as your essential tools for building relationships with families. Focus on families’ strengths, and value their knowledge and expertise about their children. They know their children’s temperaments, personalities, strengths, vulnerabilities, talents, and unique needs. Listen to parents because they know their children best.

Adopting a strengths-based approach does not mean avoiding challenges or talking only about positive observations and ideas. It’s about believing that all families want what is best for their children, and that all families can make progress.

It’s easier to address challenges and concerns when you have a strong partnership built on positive experiences shared over time. You can create positive partnerships with families by seeking their expertise. Parents believe in the partnership when they feel the passion and care you have for their children and family.

Acknowledge and appreciate the contribution parents make when they share their knowledge with you. This knowledge along with insights from families can lead to improved staff practices and program quality. Learn more by exploring specific strengths-based strategies.

Building Relationships Is a Parallel Process

When you are developing relationships with families, you are involved in a parallel process. A parallel process takes place when similar practices are reflected in different parts of an organization, community, or system, as well as in the services given. The parallel process is an important part of Head Start programs. The program supports you, the family services professional, in a way that mirrors the support you give to parents and families.

The staff–parent relationship also becomes a parallel process. In this process, the emotional connections you form with parents and family members can influence their emotional connections with their children. When parents and family members experience positive support from staff, this support helps them give that same kind of support to their children.

“Every time you give a parent a sense of success or of empowerment, you’re offering it to the baby indirectly. Because every time a parent looks at the baby and says, ‘Oh, you’re so wonderful,’ that baby just bursts with feeling good about themselves.” — T. Berry Brazelton

The Relationship-Based Competencies

The process of relationship building with families is at the heart of our work. It involves increasing your knowledge, skills, and practices. Review the Relationship-Based Competencies (RBCs) to Support Family Engagement to learn about the competencies you need to successfully engage with parents and families and to grow in your professional expertise. Reading the detailed RBC guide for family services professionals will also help you in your work with families. The 10 RBCs are:

• Positive and Goal-oriented Relationships
• Self-aware and Culturally Responsive Relationships
• Family Well-being and Families as Learners
• Parent–Child Relationships and Families as Lifelong Educators
• Family Connections to Peers and Community
• Family Access to Community Resources
• Leadership and Advocacy
• Coordinated, Integrated, and Comprehensive Services
• Data-driven Services and Continuous Improvement
• Professional Growth

The table below shows how the RBCs align with the PFCE Framework to support program-wide implementation of family engagement.

Use the RBCs to build meaningful, goal-oriented partnerships with families. Consider these practice areas for using the RBCs to promote family well-being. Reflect on your progress in each competency (knowledge, skills, and practices). You can find areas for professional growth using the Relationship-Based Competencies Professional Development Assessment tools for family services professionals and supervisors. Keep in mind these additional priority areas while building relationships and applying RBCs with families.

Family Contributions to the Program

To build authentic partnerships with parents, families, and caregivers and to support them as program advocates and leaders, programs must create opportunities for parents to share their voices and to contribute to the program in ways that matter to families.

Trauma-informed Care (TIC)

The PFCE Framework and the RBCs can help promote TIC and relational healing in your work. TIC recognizes the role that trauma may play in the lives of family and staff. Your professional development can include training about understanding, recognizing, and responding to trauma. Your PD can also strengthen trauma-informed program practices. Self-reflection is another important part of understanding the impact of traumatic experiences and effects.

Father and Male Engagement

Effectively engaging fathers and male caregivers requires genuine curiosity and respect for their unique strengths, talents, cultures, goals, and circumstances. These relationships can lead to positive, long-lasting outcomes for fathers, male caregivers, children, and families.

Partnering with Families of Children Who Are Dual Language Learners

A commitment to preserving and developing the languages used in the home is critical for children and families to thrive. Strengthen your practice by learning more about the unique ways your partnerships with families matter for children who are learning and speaking two or more languages.

Cultural Perspectives in Caregiving

Early childhood professionals working with families from culturally and linguistically diverse backgrounds build strong, trusting relationships by learning about families’ lifeways and preferences for raising children. This process helps to create with families an understanding of child development and effective, responsive caregiving practices.

Virtual Family Engagement

Effective family engagement can include virtual communication tools and strategies to build relationships with parents, families, and caregivers and work with them to achieve family goals. Consider the specific families you are working with when selecting tools. Make sure that the tools you use are accessible and inclusive for all families, including families who speak a language other than English or those who have challenges accessing the internet.

Reflection Questions

Reflect on each question and write your responses using the downloadable worksheet.

• Think of a time when you built a positive relationship with a family. What went well? What would you do differently?
• How can your manager support you in building relationships and partnerships with families?
• What are some examples of how your interactions with parents and family members can influence their interactions with their children?
• How do you remember details about a family (e.g., their names, stories about other family members, preferences)?
• What are your own cultural and linguistic experiences? How could they show up in your work with families?

Key Takeaways

• Use strengths-based attitudes and strategies as your essential tools for building relationships with families. Acknowledge and appreciate families’ expertise about their children. They know their children’s temperaments, personalities, strengths, vulnerabilities, talents, and unique needs. You create positive partnerships with families by seeking their expertise.
• In a staff–parent parallel process, the emotional connections you form with parents and family members can influence their emotional connections with their children. When parents and family members experience positive support from staff, this experience can help them give the same kind of support to their children.
• The RBCs to Support Family Engagement outline 10 distinct groupings of knowledge, skills, and individual practices to support your successful engagement with families. The RBCs can also help to strengthen your professional expertise.

Action Starters

On your reflection worksheet, identify two to three key takeaways that you want to implement in your daily work.

Last Updated: June 3, 2024